JuSt Me...TxT

i am not blaming anyone but myself now.. sorry fr making u all unhappy but i really have my own problem.. really.. pls try to understand.. i am trying my best to do all i can to fit wit u guys d.. but now i really cant make it anymore.. i knw tht it's a gathering.. i knw.. i really wan to go.. just tht my hands are tied real tight now.. i wanted ot go a lot but.. i dwn go on the basis of me owing someone's help to go there.. really dwn.. i have been owing ppl to much now.. i dwn keep continue till the moment where i cant bear all the charges.. i am afraid of that moment.. really am~~
i gt my problems.. really.. sorry.. might be you guys dun knw.. but i really like to go out wit u guys and have fun.. but fr me there is always a limit.. i've crossed tht limit now.. and my backup is down now.. so i really can make it..
and pls dun cancel it jst because of me..
there is a lot of reason blocking frm me to go.. i knw we have plan it fr long time d.. but argh.. i dun knw wht to say d la.. i dwn make u guys sad but if i go.. i will suffer fr the whole year..

today jst now, my mom just told me tht i make her lost RM500 fr a hp. She bought a new hp cause she though tht i am using her hp now..but i jst make use of the battery.. and i leave the old hp unused.. She went to buy a new hp today.. wit a loud speaker.. then she saw the old hp and asked me bout it.. i told her i jst need the battery.. there u go~ few vulgar words and hits~ ya.. my internet and games and outing is on the bet.. T.T
and might be even staying back after school is no longer avail fr me anymore..sob*
haiz.. this is my life..

i dont knw wht to tell u guys anymore..i hope we can find a solution..

SaD SaD daY...T.T

i hate my life and i hate it frm now on.. i dun knw wht happened to me.. but it jst happen tht my life sux now..T.T
i felt so lonely..*even i knw my friends are always wit me..
but in some matter.. it's me myself felt so..
story bout today>>>
today.. i felt down.. i felt like i am the bad aura to my friends and ppl around me.. some how i felt so.. i have never had this thoughts before.. but jst some how it crossed my mind today bout it..
tht~ i am the cause of all the bad things around me.. all because of me.. haiz..
friends argue.. never talk to each other.. make me sad and hate the time cause it's the one tht cause me to experience all this..
if we are in our old times.. i dun think we will have this prob.. but i knw.. i knw tht if times never pass we will never grow.. BUT~ i wan things tht we treasured last time to stay fr ever..T.T i really do..
but i felt like time have cheat on me.. all the promises tht we made and so called sealed is no longer kept..
i dun knw how to express my feelings.. i really dun knw how.. i tried to cry out so tht the pain cant be felt this much.. but, some how it jst seems doesnt work at all.. might be it's because it's too pain till i dun feel it anymore.. so numb..
i wanted to write some things in too.. bt it's jst somehow doesnt seem appropriate..
when think bout it, when it happen to me i was very angry and dissapointed, wanted to write in blog but... haiz.. argh~!! i hate me!!!WT* k??

i jst want back my friends and the realtionship we had last time.. tht's all..

i knw i have been asking this questions a lot of times, but i still wan to ask~~ i jst wan to..
is there anyone out there tht understands how i feel?? wht i am feeling now? is it same wit me? wht should i do? tell me? can i do it? CAN I??

and to papa, thx fr being there fr me eventhought u are bz and in pain.. sorry i cant be there to help u and accompany u.. if i can, i would like to do so, cause i never knw tht u are always tehre fr me.. i worry tht u will frgt bout me.. i really have tht kind of thoughts before.. i really do... but i always tell myself u wont do tht.. cause i knw u.. hahahaXD

fr my other friends, i never frgt bout u all.. i do think bout u all too... talk bout u guys and ur habits..LOL..i really do~! and I WILL ALWAYS KEEP U ALL IN MY HEART~!!!
if i forgotten bout u all, tell me~!! PLS TELL ME~!! i dont wan to lose a friend at all..
cause we are no longer in the same place, time, and motive..
but i do wish we can aim fr the same stars together.. *hugs*

*might be too many bad things happen to me recently, so i really cant bear it..

Thx fr reading..^^

TrUe DeeP DeeP My HeaRt..

well.. me again..as usual..T.T today is jst not my day..
so i will summaries wht happen today.. since happy things doesnt happen a lot today..so...
the worst thing happen to me was i (my right toes) was tripped over by a person's car..T.T waa..*sobs.. was so damn pain when the wheel is jst on top of my toes..can feel the pressure..wanted to cry.. but cant cry out.. dont knw why was more angry tht time..shouted out when the wheels was jst on top of my toes*bout the last 3 of them*...T.T but the stupid driver went to move forward the car...causin all my 5 toes kena..*swt lo tht time..*
haiz... but lucky i have master the skill of healing and massage..hahahaXD
so my toes seem to be alright after tht..^^ not much bengkak d and i can move d..XD
at last..LOL
hmm.. after tht..nothing much d lo.. life goes on as usual... felt so sien..
miss kai di di also.. but he have spm on goin.. cannot blame him..T.T
and i miss connie too.. so ong no hear frm her d..
argh~!! if not cause my hp is spoilt..sobs.. then i can contact whoever i miss..T.T
haiz.. nvm la.. my bad day kua?? or week? or month or year?? OMG!!! no..~!!!
i dwn such life...

CoNcRetE MiND..

jst me..
You think I'm an ignorant savage
And you've been so many places
I guess it must be so
But still I cannot see
If the savage one is me
How can there be so much that you don't know?
You don't know ...

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew

wht is happening around me? i really wan to knw..
i no longer understand wht ppl around me thinks..
hating myself fr being so blur..T.T
i wan to knw wht happened to me..
is it me or it's them who have changed?
can anyone explain to me? i really need to knw..
why lie to me.. why do you wan to do it??
you're lying to me is it because you care wht i think??
or you're jst being yourself..?? tell me please.. i dont wan to live in a life
full of deceiving illusion.
let me out frm the missery.. it's killing me..
when i share this wit my friends.. i felt it's like i am influencing their thoughts..
and i am worried tht it's just me who think so..
i am worried and scared.. afraid of all this happening around me.
might be you cant sense it.. cause i have never shown it to you,
how much i care bout my friends and ppl around me.
But trust me, i do care and i hope tht all the bad things i knw bout you
is wrong. i do hope. prays~

HoROsCOpE<3

Hi~! today i am gonna write bout horoscope matches wit me ^^

First of all, the details below i get it frm my bff, May Fong XD
cause the horoscope thing is in chinese and a half (it is half...=.=) banana like me need someone to translate to me.. LOL *this is jst fr fun..not real one*


For a start, I am a Sagittarian>>
~i always love a guy where my family will object one
~but i will fight back against my family, if i never care who's gonna care bout him
~i am very curIous bout things happening around me
~happy go lucky person
~i am tht type of person where love will no bring me down
~if my love fail, i will gt rid of it very fast and move on
~i am also a stubborn person *will never learn frm the past love until my true love appear
~i hope tht there is someone who understand, trust, and appreciate me
~i am very loyal and easily believe ppl
~if i find out my partner on me, i will be VERY emotional
~i am too straight-forward, thus hurt many ppl around me
~wan to work even after marriage

Compatibility ^^,

Pisces (Feb 19- Mar 20)
when wit him, i always wan to take accompany him, and take care of him. He will give me the feeling to love. a good match fr me.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
quiet a matching couple but, some of the his attraction cant be sensed by me..LOL..have a lot of things in common.


Leo ( Jul 23 - Aug 22)
will be a person who leads by my own emotions, thus will not last long if i'm wit him...the relationship is like fire crackers, start and ends fast.


Virgo ( Aug 23 - Sep 22)
if i'm wit the guy, the guy will be qi shi by me hahahaXD will hurt the guy cause i am too straight forward d and he is a carefull guy. not a good match


Cancer ( Jun 22 - Jul 22)
will sure to share the same dream, and the guy will be fussy. Sometimes will also argue cause disagree in some factors. Not a matching couple also

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)
will be the most matching couple, because both also a very agressive person. others asspect all good only one..spends money like water.


Taurus ( Apr 20 - May 20)
chances of being together is very low. No jodoh..*weird..

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
he will be boring cause he like to act serious but he will pay attention to me...seems like a perfect couple but not frm the inside..migh scold him YOU LELAKI KOLOT~!! one day later..XD

Aquarius ( Jan 20 - Feb 18)
another matching couple. both of us will think tht we have other friends to concern, therefore either of us will not asked ou partner to choose between friends and their partner.


*some tht i have left out one.. I am sorry but cause mf like sien d wan to read fr me..hahahaXD LOL.. mst thanks her cause willing to read fr me..THANK U MAY FONG XD
I am
still finding

MatCh Of My LiFE..<<3


okie..now some craps tht have to do wit me..
hmm...recently nothing much happened tht interest me to talk bout...*beside myself which is interesting no matter how XD
miss my friends and kai di di-s, they are busy now cause having their exams and starting new sem..T.T wan to see them..knw wht they doing and laugh at them..*cough* i mean together wit them..haiz..

well now my own schedule also not very good..T.T *sobs
this month schedule totally full wit studies and next month will be totally alone..T.T

monday- math tuition, wednesday- math tuition, friday- math tuition somemore on saturday-chem tuitoin and sunday- physic tuition

waa..T.T.. *sobs really can die lo.. currently nothing much to talk.. will update if there is ^.^

okie la..Thx fr reading XP

JuDgeMeNt daY~!

Hi~! I was too lazy to post last few days ago, sorry bout tht ^^
Well.. I have a lot to talk bout actually but now i have none..
i am not blaming anyone but whenever i wan to post my blog there is always someone tht who will come and distract me.

Frm a jst a few happy sentence to a few advice then a few warnings then nothing..haiz..
felt so frust to find a time to actually type it out when i feel like i wan to do so..
Cause when u talk to them, the might be bz and never reply but when you yourself are bz, it seems tht they are there all at once jst to bother u...argh~!! =.=
*no offence to my friends, not talking bout u guys.. dun so sensitive

Just now was in a good mood, cause jst read some manga hahahaXD
but dont knw wht have gone into me.. but i have no mood at all.. even felt stressed when typing this blog. Even felt like being forced to type..haiz.. so fan arr..

i think tht ppl around me dun knw me well..i keep on facing this prob.. if it's frm a total stranger then i might jst dun care bout wht they've said.. but this time.. i do felt hurt.. i really did..no matter how, i am still a human and i have feelings too.. i beg u pls dun hurt me.. cause i am a revengefull person.. if u hurt me.. you'll lose a friend.. i can guarantee u, unless we are not friends at all..then, no point to judge and comment bout me.. go find another person to say and fulfil ur lousy judgement.. it irritates me when u act as if u knw everything bout me jst frm the cover me tht i've showed u..=.=
u really dun knw me well, so shut up and observe properly.. dun think ur obervations is good..cause my doings can be deceiving. Thus,ask me and not say me.
ASK me~!!! argh

wanted to listen to the David Tao' song.. frgt the title but i remember the chorus where he sing "i love you, suo ni ye ai wo, wuuu~"

haiz.. where is the other part of me? the real other part of me? is he having his other part and tht person is not me? will he be there for me to tell every small liltle happy and sad things? will he be there to protect me? will i be there fr him too when he needs company? will we be sharing everything?? will it begin and will it end?? anyone tell me??
who will knw?? only we knw..
liang ge ren bu deng yu wo men...

Bored..-.-

this is a post jst fr fun..LOL..hahaha
cause i sien and i am sick..T.T
and i took this when he never notice it..hahaha..LOL XD

felt so evil..kakaka.. but i said sorry to him earlier d..hehehe

so let u all see>>>
tada~ this is my kai di di ^^

lol.. i wondering he is reading the books wit his eyes opened or using his telepathic..hahaha..XD

tomorw will post on my outing..XD
see you all tomorw ^^

i am serious..>.<

Today is my unlucky day..haiz.. in the morning i was late and have to entertain the SFI primary and Xin Min Secondary.. was very tired.. have to bring them round the school and i have nothing to say to them..argh~!! communication break down T.T *sob
but worst yet to come, i fell down!! in school!! so pain..T.T huhu.. both legs and hands are injured. and I AM OK, guys.. no worries..= )
I think i've wake up frm bed wit the wrong foot step..
i have been thinking wht's all the causes of my sufferings...
and i think it's because my ownself...
Well, you see~ i actually made an agreement to myself tht i will change.. *the content is private ^^
and if not i will actually experience bad luck fr days?? or day?? maybe?? i dont knw..
but i think my agreement this time is to chun d..T.T
i jst slack off frm studies yesterday and today i already kena~!!??

but at least~
i manage to force myself to change today XD
i managed to pay full attention to my Math tuition and i actually able to do all the exe tht is given and understand the exampleS. LOL..hahaha..felt so proud..XP
i think i should keep this kind of attitude d..

and i really wan to thx to someone..XD i think if not because of him tht actually indirectly helped me^^ i wont be my oldself today XD
plan to change now..
since it's time >.<

i was hoping this to happen long time ago.. but no one knws bout it..hahahaXD and now i am telling everyone bout it now!!

MY BFF IS GOING TO HAVE A BF NOW~! WOOOT~!!
*i am pointing to my niece..heheheXD

and to you ^^ my niece>>
*others pls dun be so kepo go and read this part =.=
i knw the ppl in school now and i think i can read them real well d
but i havent change back to myself
i dont knw why~ but now i think i figure it out
i think i was worried bout you..LOL XD
after today, i am very sure tht someone else will now take care of you,
i will now turn back to my normal me
i actually have been waiting fr this moment very long already..
but today HE have proved to me when he go against his friends just to defend you,
i knw he is the right person for you !! ^0^
so pls be happy and if you have problems dun hesitate to find me, okie??
You're always my niece ^.^
*if he ever bully you again, tell me=.= i will chop him down for you..
seriously -.- DO TELL ME~!

hmm.. i think tht's all ba fr today?? ya.. i dun think i have much to say.. cause i'll be bz catching up my school hw now..
tomorw gt a chemistry experiment to do *swt
so hard somemore T.T

THX fr reading XD

BuSY dAY..^^

Hi~! hahahaXD
Let me start my story today from this morning la. Today, old story.. woke up late again..hahahaXD dont knw why i was too sleepy to woke up in the morning even i slept early yesterday.. *-.- weird.. nvm that.. back to my story.. yesterday my friends and i planned to go out today to DP and MP.
Besides to meet up, wanted to see the GAMEX that is held frm this 31st Oct to 2nd Nov.. *went there yesterday fr the same reason and was not really satisfied wit wht they organised..tsk tsk..bad bad..

Cause i overslept, therefore have to call my dad to fetch me to tuition.. he was not really happy of it..T.T cause i always overslept..hahahaXD After tuition, I planned to go to MP but will walk back together wit Chia Wen first.. but seems tht Chia Wen's papa come and fetch her d.. have to walk back alone..

BUT, *hahahaXD* lucky me~!! I went and ask around who is going to MP..kakaka.XP *hoping to find a person to send me there..hahaha.. and thus found my saviour after tuition..hahahaXD THANK GOD~! and not to forget THANK YOU fr sending me to MP
THANK YOU SO MUCH William~! hahahaXD you made my day!! ^^

BUT again.. *unlucky of me..* i was too early.. was suppose to meet up at 1.30 but reach there at 12.45..LOL.. since lik, becky, may fong, papa and pui xiang not there yet.. so, i followed William gang.. Met a few friends of his.. One of it named Liang...*something la..* (frgtten d..hahahaXD) so i call him Ah Liang.. he's a student frm Dasien.. *a college where some of my friends wanted to go to..hahahaXD and i heard it's a nice place..* then i followed them to lepak around first while waiting fr them..they went to see some dota match and i went to play some games..hahaha..

AND I GET A FREE T-SHIRT ~!! WOOT~!!hahahaXD there you go.. my t-shirt..*limited edition wor..


*TRIED MY VERY BEST TO STRETCH FR U ALL TO READ D! XP

hahahaXD then after tht.. went to Shibaraku to wait fr lik and others.. today is quite a busy day fr everyone..gt the rovers farewell but i did not go..cause telling the truth.. lik wen and becky are more important to me than the rovers farewell..*i'm sorry seniors..but i really miss them too much d..T.T

after few mins we managed to gather up and we went to Pizza Hut to eat.. as usual I am sure to order the Sensasi Set meal..hahaha.. and ofcourse.. spagetti..hahaha not to frgt the sweet and spicy chicken wing..OMG~~!! so darn delicious~!! then we talk and talk and laughed and talk..like what we usually do.. felt like back to the olden days..hahaha..

there you go>> this is lik wen..hahaha..
*cute le?? ^^

Talk bout papa.. i miss her so much too.. but like usual.. she is so damn quiet=.= and she gt a bf d named Axxx~! how could you not tell me bout it??=.=tsk~!! and she tried to deny it.. as if i dont knw~! huh!!** i was warned by her not to spread rumours..T.T she was so angry when i post this in my blog.. so i will rephrase the sentence>>he is not Axxx and she got no bf at all..
XP may you get well soon.. and i knw you will ^.^
LOVE MY FRIENDS FOREVER AND EVER~! ^0^
*HUG HUG*


Well.. bout the GAMEX things..
G=games
A=anime
M=manga
EX=exhibition
as i heard frm my friends.. the dota public competition is also participated by our
Malaysian No. 1 Dota-pro.. Sakura, i think not mistaken is his name.. He wore a Malaysian printed t-shirt.. lil bit plum.. enen.. no kidding le.. wanted to ask fr his autograph.. but i only saw him on the first day.. but today i cant seems to find him..haiz.. but nvm la..

this is wht i managed to buy frm the GAMEX* though most of it is free..hahahaXP*>> this is BEN's latest project, an online game drawn by him ^^ so nice.. and guess wht??kakakaXD i managed to get his autograph..hahaha this is his game cover where he signed fr me~ ^^ and this one too.. i think it's too dark d.. so you cant see his autograph..hahaha..but i suppose to have another one poster tht has my name on it~!!
but STUPID ME~ i dont knw where i lost it..*sob T.T the other one is better.. he ask me to support him somemore.. but i lost it..sob..


lastly, some posters tht i bought frm GAMEX under HQ booth.. hahaha.. saw the 'boss/ owner' today..hahaha.XD so happy to see him.. but he is still scared of me..kakaka.. i think he is still under trauma cause i ate all his choco bar in his shop last time..hahahaXD but at least he still remember me~! LOL XD




well tht's all fr today on my outing ^^


bout me today...
hmm very happy and sad too.. happy cause i met wit my friends but sad cause they leaving soon d..T.T and dont knw when they are coming back..huhu... felt lil bit sick too.. might be my body too heaty d kua.. cause i ate to much spicy food d.. somemore all at once..swt but.. trying my best to avoid all this heaty food d..hahaha *i really did k.. really~!! enen trust me! dont knw why my neck still hurts when i bow down or try to turn around..might be because my way of sleeping is wrong ba? dont knw la..

okie la..tht's all..^^ thx fr reading XD