=random=

hi..jst posting this up fr the sake of update.. dont like my blog to be left dead cause i knw my friends will somehow browse through it..*cough..talking bout some ppl..cough*

recently i am addicted to this fruity fruit.. really in love wit it.. never knew i love it so much till i've been asking my mom to buy it everyday..>.<>>>






me fav fr now.. DRAGONFRUITS.. ^^


ignore this continous post if u dwn to be bored to death..
it happen again today.. my mind wonder again.. when it's after recess, i actually hope tht he wont come..cause i knw if he came..his name will be written down..
but if he came earlier aything after assembly, he will be in trouble too..
i dont knw.. thinking a lot of ways fr him to escape.. but i found myself stupid..
why am i thinking all this when he was suppose to be on time..whtever..
i notice i've become soft hearted.. it's totally contradicting my trueself..
i've never been soft hearted on wht i am doing..
when come to think bout it.. i think it did happen very fast and too fast..
i wonder why do i actually kept quiet when it's happening too fast..
notice tht i actually put confidence and trust in it.. but jst..
nothing i can could say or do to make him see wht he mean to me..
thought tht i knew everything.. but honestly i knew nothing..
we dont knw anything.. but there was never a we..
you and me are same but the we is not there.. i think tht's suppose to be the way?
all my life fr once i am confidence... over confidence on something tht i am afraid off..
and i should knew it wont be perfect.. it will never be? but i think problem come frm myself..
i wanted so much.. so much tht it's hard to get.. and i never give.. i jst take..
might be i take too much till the moment i need to give i cant give anything..
no body knw who i really am..i never felt this empty b4.. i am always alone..
i took my pride too highly i think? but it's jst me.. change it? i dont knw how? or jst tht i am not willing to change fr the inside? humans cant bear the truth.. it's jst painful..
i knew i would say get over it.. but i knew my feeling is the opposite of it..
too naive of me to think and let down my guards jst because i felt ease around.....

collection XD

HI!! XD today too lazy to type since my friends keep on saying my blog sux cause it only has words in it and NO PICS. So, i jst randomly keep few pics for this week.. *actually this few days nia..XP

I was sitting outside the living room jst now and gt too bored so i played wit my hair.. and tada>> it turn out to be nice.. so i took a few pics of it.. XD i personally think it's nice >.<
sometime my friends ask me if i let go my hair when i am at home.. actually if u wan to compare the period of time i let down my hair the most.. it would definately be at home.. but usually i will always do this.. cause i find it neat and nice>>> *then wht u guys did at home?
i wan to knw too >.<

oh.. jst remember i bought a nice nice baby today..
another baby to add in to my collection !! kakaka *evil laughs*
here's some pics of it>>
it's a new store in dp.. and i only bought baby fr RM4.90 XD


look at it.. it's so pretty.. ahhh~!! =D

it's all red!! me love red!! ^^ suppose to buy the cover in red but the chopstick is pink so i took this instead..LOL (realistic of me XP)
there u go..the new jap store in town.. melaka is sooo gonna be a hectic place in the future.. so many entertainment here.. T.T

well.. beside entertainment we do have to take care of our health right?
my mom bought this biscut a few week ago and i was addicted to it.. it taste so natural LOL
and it's really healthy.. really!! enen.. :3
it's high in fibre..
and it's vegetarian food too.. so to my vegetarian friend *point toward meenal* AT LAST I DID SHARE MY FOOD WIT U LOL!!

ah.. i got injured this week.. everyday i think? T__T hate my life since then..
it's like every where.. and it only happen when i'm around him =.= hate u..zzz

let's not talk bout that already.. hmm..

frm 17th of this month onwards, there will be a pc fair in mp.. and look wht i got >>
A USB FAN!! XD
my bro bought the same thing as i did at rm50 last 2 years.. LOL at him now.. and i would like to say to him>> "HAH!! IN UR FACE!! LAN C LA.. DWN LET ME USE! NOW I GOT THE SAME ONE AT RM10!! HAHAHA!!"
but something happen once i bought it.. felt so dissapointed wit myself.. T___T
the moment me and mf took the plastic bag and turn away frm the booth happily..
yoke wan pointing towards the opposite booth and it wrote RM8.00 fr the same usb fan..
waaahhh~~~~!!!! so kek sim!! wah!! i really hate tht moment lo..
i thicken my thick skin and wen to ask the salesgirl whether i can cash back the fan?
she say no..>.< nothing much fr today.. and i took this pic at the store.. i like the key chain they sold there.. it's pretty and cute..xD




thx for reading..^^

shock stunned dissapointed and blur..+.=

it's 2++ now.. i am totally stunned dissapointed and blur and speechless and shocked and argh!!
it's her... it's her.. it's really her..
the moment i woke up i saw her..
i thought it was a bless frm dear god tht my wish came true.. but as i get the clearity of my thoughts back.. *i gt headache in the morning XD*
i was wondering why is she in MY ROOM..
totally shocked.. and once i regain my awareness.. i knw it's like wht i expected..
me stupid fking bro frgive her and bring her back.. and they are now back together...=.=
stupid-est bro i ever had in my whole life..
i wonder if my mom wen to holiday fr honey moon and something happen and there u go.. my bro's birth.. =.=

too dissapointed to say anything.. i did nt talk to her at all fr the whole day..
not tht cheap to talk to her.. and not tht stupid to be like my bro...

now only kek sim nia.. dwn care bout my bro anymore la..argh=.=

jst a piece of my mind..

as usual again.. my mind wonders around again..
thinking and reflecting on what I've did recently..
things seem to go so smooth when u are happy and u tend to neglect the -ve side of it..
not much that u will notice when it happens.. but after what happened..
things gone haywire.. friends become cold enemy in disguise..
love blinding all this disguise.. giving a better camouflage on the problem..
when it happen.. the satisfaction and fun is nice.. as the ego was fulfilling..
but behind all this the dark clouds rises wit silence..
so silence in the dark tht u wont notice anything moving..not a slightest sound is given out..

when u notice tht it is happening.. it's too late..
and worst still u dont knw whether the satisfaction is correct at this moment..
at this moment.. there are a lot of other places need u the most.. but u were paying too much attention tht u have never thought tht u would be giving at such time..
u dont knw whether it helps or u are killing urself..
wht is the most happy things to do? what is the most realistic thing u should be doing?
where is ur stand? u've lost everything when u think u are still having control of it..
cause u dont knw whether wht u are doing now is right? or it should be another way u expected?
even the thing wont happen but till now u still expecting it.. wht is in ur mind?
friends? studies? love? social? money? family? urself?
which is the most important? i dont knw..

life still goes on and time still passes by.. let the bygone be bygone..
all my life what is the main thing i am aiming fr? wht is more important to me? why i can put everything a side now? but back there.. u were shinning brightly too.. and u dont have such problems.. can u let it go? will u let it go?

i've abandoned so much thing when it happen and i thought it can only bring happiness not only to me.. but to my everything.. cause it was never a problem b4 it happen.. but now..
things seems to be more clearer.. i've lost everything i've been safekeeping fr so long..
the moment i said yes.. tht's where it all begins.. might be i've been too selfish..
a bite frm the back on wht i've said and have been preventing frm happening has taught me well this time....
this wound is the wound tht i shall not frgt or ignore.. this is the wound tht i shall prevent frm now on.. since i am being selfish now and i've caused so many ppl in my life sad.. why not jst let me be more selfish and let everyone have their own track back in life? and live happily?
then.. my friends will be back..? then i can concentrate on my studies? then my family wil be happy ? and then my income is back too? then i can go back to my socializing self again? then i can be wht i am? even if love is lost but new love might appear? or might be a better one?

for now.. i dont knw.. i've lost too much things now.. i wan to stay back frm everything.. leaving my world fr a moment.. let things jst be..
self reflection is a necessity to me now.. bt seems tht i am blinded nw.. i dont knw wht i've done is right or wrong?
my thoughts? the world can live witout me.. might be it's true i am selfish.. cause i knw everyone will too.. no matter how or wht i do.. i knw it will come back to normal once i leave it alone.. so why not prevent anything else frm happening?

argh.. been talking in circles now.. time to rest.. and fllw my mood.. but ofcourse more thoughts than mood..
crrntly listening to thinking of u by katty perry..

thanks fr reading..