--whT's DeeP InSide--

argh..ahhh~.. waaahhhh~~ zzzz
i am speechless.. for no reasons actually..
test is coming and i really hate myself.. felt so helpless.. so hating myself now..
i DONT HAVE feelings of exam at all.. it's like there is no more kia-su-ness in me at all d..
i hate those stupid things happening around me..
it's like i think bout those things more than my studies.. walao..
wht is wrong wit me..
i am not blaming those things jst tht i am blaming myself of putting too much thoughts in it..
i dont like it man.. i wan my kia-su-ness back.. recently my mood or learning jst come back..
but it seems tht it's those minor ones.. WHICH IS LIKE SO BAD...=.=
i really need to cut this stupid internet connection man..
NEED TO LIMIT MYSELF FRM ONLINING ARGH~!!

last few days i notice tht time is not enough fr me at all..
i felt like i'm so tied up.. with those outing and stuff..
might be wht they said is true..
if there's a will, there's a way..
and i think my will is not strong enough at all..
i need more time.. *prays* T^T

i really really wan to get 4A's in my STPM!! i really wan to, but seems tht i never put much effort on it..sometimes i really doubting myself, wether i really really wan it or not?
cause it seems tht i took it so lightly as if it's jst something tht is simple and easy and even if i flunk it, i wont matters anymore.

I dont like this self.. i really dont!!
i wan to have my kia-su-ness back. I need sometime..
all alone.. i jst wan to be alone frm now on till after stpm..
might be like this, i can really focus on my studies..
*but ofcourse, i do wan to go out once in a while..
so i think i'll try my best to stay at home more, focus on my studies more.. *stabs*
hopefully i can actually..>.<

i dwn to be tht kind of person anymore..
i wan to be a bad person..i dwn to think bout things around me..
i wan to be the cruel me.. which means me living on it's own dark world..
if being ignored, why not isolate myself..
focus all on myself and no more other ppl..

i dwn to lose to ppl around me anymore..
i dwn to be ranked last half in the class..
i dwn to be ranked wit 2 digits in the class..
i wan to focus!! argh.. hate myself when i cant focus..=.=

wit the time i am using to type this now, i think i can already be bathing and eating now..
and i can save my time latter to do my homework..
i dont knw wht has gone into me now..i jst wan to shout out loud..
or might be find a person to talk to, a person tht does not involved in all this.. someone tht is not physically by my side.. someone who i can shout and sing wit..TT.TT
someone who really understand me.. and cares bout me..
but i knw this person is hard to find and i knw it's impossible to find such person..
i think i need time alone.. i cant face those dramas and acting and care and stuff anymore..

might be i keep on trying to click but i never notice tht i've been tired of clicking..
only recently i've notice this..i jst wan to be myself..
which is mean.. and cruel to ppl..
i am like this.. so dont expect much frm me.. i am not ur toy.. never was..

# RaiNBowS #

Another boring post. This post can be ignored totally cause it talked bout nothing. Really nothing, so if you wan to close it do it fast before u get migrains. ^^


A lot of things had happened recently. Weird things is, most of it either i have gone through or it happened around me. What i think is, it's destiny or fate..
It has been about 2 months since I last take a sit and stare just to get my mind go blank. Miss those moments where i can think with my clear mind and recall what I've did.
Throughout the whole year (2008) till now, I haven't open the true mind and feelings of mine to anyone. I don't understand myself lately too. What's in my mind was, just do it and do whatever you want.Thus, leading me to the wrong path.
I no longer leading my own life anymore, but it revolves around the directions given by people around me. Is it too late for me to notice what have just happen to me? Is it too late to turn back?


If only I know the answer to my own questions. Might be at that time, my life would be simple and predictable. I want to practice my old habit of doing what that must be done at that time and do it correctly.. Hopefully i still can do that, if not i really need to start avoiding homo sapient around me. Sometimes, i have to let my evil side to speak too, then only i can compare and choose the best choice i can have. I might need to lose things that are valuable to me to achieve my goals, but if i really need to do so just to make sure i achieve such goal.. I might be hesitated but i will never deny to consider the probabilities.


Life is short and i should be grateful with what i have, i know that. *basically who don't?=.=*
But humans are weird aren't they? They will just keep on striving for the very best thing and make sure it's theirs. That's human. haiz..
Everyone have their own problems but some people got their own way to face it, to solve it, to avoid it, or even to ignore it.
But sooner or later, no matter how we avoid or ignore it, it still comes on the way and unless we solve it, nothing can be done.
So, be brave and face it and things will just go on and we'll find that life is like a rainbow.
It come after the rain and dark clouds, and by the end of the day, the raindow will appear at the end.


Even if the thoughts that you are all alone, it's fine. Alone is also a good thing. Being able to be alone is not an easy thing but if a person can means he/ she can stand strong and stable. A leader's characteristic indeed.
When a problem comes, the devil came along with them too, but we all dont know or forgotten that, when such things happens, the angels came with help too.
Pray hard that they came fast..XD so you wont suffer so much of excruciating pain.


Another question pops in my mind again. Why is it that when we want something it wont came to us easily? And why when we nearly get it, it will ran away? And when the decision of giving it up have been settled, that something came to us? People with those things should be grateful and appreciate it as much as you can.


Humans always live in the life of deceiving illusions. They don't know how much missery others have also experienced. Others might have denied it, others might have agreed on it, but how many of them actually speaks the truth and not exaggerating it? Thinking of humans are just humans, but actually deep inside they think the same way.


THX fr reading..*nvr think u can survive this* ^.^

For You.. <3

Hi! This post is meant for a girl..
Her name was Tabitha *if not mistaken the spelling suppose to be correct*
She's a Form 5 girl and i suppose all Form 5 girls are those that were happy everyday and living their wonderful year..
But unfortunately fr her.. it's the other way round..

Please pray together for her.. *prays*

After class today i went back to IJC wit Tong, Mf, SW, and Chui Yee..
I actually heard bout the news today around 2+ cause YC was telling bout what recently jst happen in IJC.. i was like..CAPS LOCK-LY STUNNED when i heard the news..

Tabitha passed away..
Just a normal Form 5 student pass away so young..
What i heard is that she got bitten when she went to a Christian Camp b4 CNY..
and when she come back 2 weeks later, she felt sick..
She cant sit still.. and she will just jump or wake up suddnly..
her body was heaty and definitely u can see tht she is sick..
Her mom was in dispair when she saw her daughter like this..
trying to find cures frm all sides and ppl she can..
but seems tht nothing can cure her..
she suffer fr a long time.. and her parents have last to decide to let her go...
she left wit tears when she was lying on the bed..
surrounded by her parents and her siblings..

Can u imagine if tht were u?
IF you are her.. wht will u do?
will u choose to leave? do u wan ur parents to let u go?
or u really wanna go..dwn to burden them?
at this stage.. wht her tears means?
is it tht she wanna say sorry to her mom fr wht all she have did and hope her mom will frgive her? or is it tht she wanna tell her mom to take care and be happy after she left?
she have no chance to talk.. she cant utter even a single word..

To my friends out there..
When i heard this story today and Mrs. Kong tell me wht happened..
i cant stop sobbing.. i dnt knw why..
might be i jst felt tht i can feel how suffering she is.. how pain she is in..
where she wanted to be cured and helped but nothing can be done and her time was short..
i cant imagine if my mom and dad finding ppl to treat me and i cant do anything to lessen the burden.. tht pain is endurable..

well this is wht i think.. but i am not sure how bad was her condition..but frm wht i heard,
it's worst..


THX fr reading.. and pls take jst about 1 min jst to give her a simple pray.. at least.. thx.. ^^

Science and humans..

this is a very fking lame post.. please dont continue to read this post unless u are really uberextremlyveryvery bored, then u may continue..

what i think bout waves and humans..
bout the waves fact i am not sure wether it's correct or not..cause i dont really remember..

a wave consist of particles that undergoes rarefaction and compression..
it has a constant frequency throughout a period of time..
take a load,O tht is hung vertically to the wall..
the load was pulled wit a force and the load start to oscillate..
then another load, A is pulled wit the same condition as O..
if a graph is plotted.. u can understand it's characteristic more..

if..both wave is a progressive wave, which have the same frequency, speed and amplitudes..but travelling in opposite direction superpose, the resultant wave contains particles which are always stationary.. thus this is called as stationary wave..

if.. both wave is a progressive wave too, wit same condition as above but moving in the same direction and superpose, the resultant wave has a higher amplitude and this is call the contructive interference..

now talking bout beat, it happens when 2 sound which are slightly diff in freq, f and are played together simultaneously, the resultant intesity will vary periodically frm max to min.

dont think anyone will understand the meaning at all..
wht i think is tht.. fr a wave to formed it need to abide some of it's conditions..
fr example.. there are repertoires of waves produced in the whole world..
fr the wave i am talking bout, it's diff frm others..
graph plotted only shows wht the wave wanna show to the observer..
but the graph plotted cant show the observer wht's the real property tht the wave are..
fr example wht particles are involved and wht is the ray given out..
the wave only shows the graph tht observer needs to knw..
to knw more bout the properties of wave it need to be studied.. but some graphs
gives explanation at the side of the graph..

somehow this graph tht is observed has a condition in * at the very bottom of the question..
which it actually go against the flow of the questions and the properties tht is showed by the graph.. if the observer never actually saw the *note and refer to the question back.. then the observer will misinteprete the meaning of the question and thus the ans given by the observer is totally wrong..even it seems tht the observer's ans i actually right..

so it teaches tht sometime referring to the questions properly till it is very clear on wht the graph shape is like this wil only help to give a correct ans.. if not.. even the correct ans will also be the wrong ans.. enen

THX fr reading and confuse ur mind..XD

Please help me sell or buy~ THX

Hi! I am in a mission now. That is to sell of my sling bad. It wasn't my wish to have this bag. It was mine because my brother bought it for me>*suppose to thank him bout his good wishes*
BUT, unfortunately, he bought the wrong type of bag for me. Which i suppose want to get hold on to a SCHOOL BAG and NOT a SLING BAG. I talk to him about it and he suggest that return it to the stall and choose a new bag.
"bagai jatuh ditimpa tangga" my hope all crushed into pieces because the fstupid shop owner said that the bag is not returnable.. and u know what that really makes me piss off?
if u walk in and out the shop fr 2x, i dont even think u could saw the note saying "goods sold are not returnable". Try to guess what he told us when we wanna change the sling bag?
Me: Uncle, my brother just bought the bacg just now. Not long ago, but i dont like the pattern, so can i change to another bag?
Uncle: har? @@pattern not nice eh?
Me: Ya, uncle.. can i choose another one?
Uncle: what? change? uncle tell u.. uncle kui meng zo seng yi em si a ni kuan eh.. cannot say u wan change u change.
Me: But we just bought the bag bout 1hr ago wor? then u all never give receipt we also dont knw ma uncle..
Uncle: dont knw? i got put le.. tuu~!!
Me: zha dau lo..=.=

*poiting to the edge of the wall.. but sadly it was the edge of the wall and the ceiling..

okie after my long complaning story..wanna sell of the sling bag..
here is some pic i took to show u guys the bag..>>>



front views wit the sling also..


side view..

front view sling of the bag..

back view side of the bag..

Please help me to ask around on who wanna buy it..
this bag have never been used before.. it's still new.. the price tag is still on it..
it has more than 3 "holes"= zip to put ur things
price range frm RM50 to Rm40.. actually price is rm49.90..

Please leave a comment if u are interested.. THX

THX fr reading ^^

continue..frm below XD

hehehe~ >.< continue my spams of pics..

aint this shoe cute? XD my new shoe ^^

too obsessed bout it..XP

clockwise frm my shoe.. then mf's shoe.. then pui's shoe..XD

XP how my shoe really look like..*took it during mamak..LOL

it has this "neko" label inside~ CUTE >.<>>> XD


this is siou wen.. LOL her usual pose..

this is pui~ XD cute le..XD

both of them ^^

this is lik~ XP luv her a lot.. hahaha

and last this is may fong..XD

recently i've been lazy to update blog.. haiz.. i gt nothing much to say.. but whenever i online..
i really dont understand why, but i jst wanted to post something.. but think bout it..
argh.. jst felt frust bout this blog thing sometime..T.T
but i wan to post pics up more cause i wan all the moments i spent wit my friends been captured down.. and at least when time passes by i still can have a look at it..

Thx fr reading^^