JuSt Me...TxT

i am not blaming anyone but myself now.. sorry fr making u all unhappy but i really have my own problem.. really.. pls try to understand.. i am trying my best to do all i can to fit wit u guys d.. but now i really cant make it anymore.. i knw tht it's a gathering.. i knw.. i really wan to go.. just tht my hands are tied real tight now.. i wanted ot go a lot but.. i dwn go on the basis of me owing someone's help to go there.. really dwn.. i have been owing ppl to much now.. i dwn keep continue till the moment where i cant bear all the charges.. i am afraid of that moment.. really am~~
i gt my problems.. really.. sorry.. might be you guys dun knw.. but i really like to go out wit u guys and have fun.. but fr me there is always a limit.. i've crossed tht limit now.. and my backup is down now.. so i really can make it..
and pls dun cancel it jst because of me..
there is a lot of reason blocking frm me to go.. i knw we have plan it fr long time d.. but argh.. i dun knw wht to say d la.. i dwn make u guys sad but if i go.. i will suffer fr the whole year..

today jst now, my mom just told me tht i make her lost RM500 fr a hp. She bought a new hp cause she though tht i am using her hp now..but i jst make use of the battery.. and i leave the old hp unused.. She went to buy a new hp today.. wit a loud speaker.. then she saw the old hp and asked me bout it.. i told her i jst need the battery.. there u go~ few vulgar words and hits~ ya.. my internet and games and outing is on the bet.. T.T
and might be even staying back after school is no longer avail fr me anymore..sob*
haiz.. this is my life..

i dont knw wht to tell u guys anymore..i hope we can find a solution..

SaD SaD daY...T.T

i hate my life and i hate it frm now on.. i dun knw wht happened to me.. but it jst happen tht my life sux now..T.T
i felt so lonely..*even i knw my friends are always wit me..
but in some matter.. it's me myself felt so..
story bout today>>>
today.. i felt down.. i felt like i am the bad aura to my friends and ppl around me.. some how i felt so.. i have never had this thoughts before.. but jst some how it crossed my mind today bout it..
tht~ i am the cause of all the bad things around me.. all because of me.. haiz..
friends argue.. never talk to each other.. make me sad and hate the time cause it's the one tht cause me to experience all this..
if we are in our old times.. i dun think we will have this prob.. but i knw.. i knw tht if times never pass we will never grow.. BUT~ i wan things tht we treasured last time to stay fr ever..T.T i really do..
but i felt like time have cheat on me.. all the promises tht we made and so called sealed is no longer kept..
i dun knw how to express my feelings.. i really dun knw how.. i tried to cry out so tht the pain cant be felt this much.. but, some how it jst seems doesnt work at all.. might be it's because it's too pain till i dun feel it anymore.. so numb..
i wanted to write some things in too.. bt it's jst somehow doesnt seem appropriate..
when think bout it, when it happen to me i was very angry and dissapointed, wanted to write in blog but... haiz.. argh~!! i hate me!!!WT* k??

i jst want back my friends and the realtionship we had last time.. tht's all..

i knw i have been asking this questions a lot of times, but i still wan to ask~~ i jst wan to..
is there anyone out there tht understands how i feel?? wht i am feeling now? is it same wit me? wht should i do? tell me? can i do it? CAN I??

and to papa, thx fr being there fr me eventhought u are bz and in pain.. sorry i cant be there to help u and accompany u.. if i can, i would like to do so, cause i never knw tht u are always tehre fr me.. i worry tht u will frgt bout me.. i really have tht kind of thoughts before.. i really do... but i always tell myself u wont do tht.. cause i knw u.. hahahaXD

fr my other friends, i never frgt bout u all.. i do think bout u all too... talk bout u guys and ur habits..LOL..i really do~! and I WILL ALWAYS KEEP U ALL IN MY HEART~!!!
if i forgotten bout u all, tell me~!! PLS TELL ME~!! i dont wan to lose a friend at all..
cause we are no longer in the same place, time, and motive..
but i do wish we can aim fr the same stars together.. *hugs*

*might be too many bad things happen to me recently, so i really cant bear it..

Thx fr reading..^^

TrUe DeeP DeeP My HeaRt..

well.. me again..as usual..T.T today is jst not my day..
so i will summaries wht happen today.. since happy things doesnt happen a lot today..so...
the worst thing happen to me was i (my right toes) was tripped over by a person's car..T.T waa..*sobs.. was so damn pain when the wheel is jst on top of my toes..can feel the pressure..wanted to cry.. but cant cry out.. dont knw why was more angry tht time..shouted out when the wheels was jst on top of my toes*bout the last 3 of them*...T.T but the stupid driver went to move forward the car...causin all my 5 toes kena..*swt lo tht time..*
haiz... but lucky i have master the skill of healing and massage..hahahaXD
so my toes seem to be alright after tht..^^ not much bengkak d and i can move d..XD
at last..LOL
hmm.. after tht..nothing much d lo.. life goes on as usual... felt so sien..
miss kai di di also.. but he have spm on goin.. cannot blame him..T.T
and i miss connie too.. so ong no hear frm her d..
argh~!! if not cause my hp is spoilt..sobs.. then i can contact whoever i miss..T.T
haiz.. nvm la.. my bad day kua?? or week? or month or year?? OMG!!! no..~!!!
i dwn such life...

CoNcRetE MiND..

jst me..
You think I'm an ignorant savage
And you've been so many places
I guess it must be so
But still I cannot see
If the savage one is me
How can there be so much that you don't know?
You don't know ...

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew

wht is happening around me? i really wan to knw..
i no longer understand wht ppl around me thinks..
hating myself fr being so blur..T.T
i wan to knw wht happened to me..
is it me or it's them who have changed?
can anyone explain to me? i really need to knw..
why lie to me.. why do you wan to do it??
you're lying to me is it because you care wht i think??
or you're jst being yourself..?? tell me please.. i dont wan to live in a life
full of deceiving illusion.
let me out frm the missery.. it's killing me..
when i share this wit my friends.. i felt it's like i am influencing their thoughts..
and i am worried tht it's just me who think so..
i am worried and scared.. afraid of all this happening around me.
might be you cant sense it.. cause i have never shown it to you,
how much i care bout my friends and ppl around me.
But trust me, i do care and i hope tht all the bad things i knw bout you
is wrong. i do hope. prays~

HoROsCOpE<3

Hi~! today i am gonna write bout horoscope matches wit me ^^

First of all, the details below i get it frm my bff, May Fong XD
cause the horoscope thing is in chinese and a half (it is half...=.=) banana like me need someone to translate to me.. LOL *this is jst fr fun..not real one*


For a start, I am a Sagittarian>>
~i always love a guy where my family will object one
~but i will fight back against my family, if i never care who's gonna care bout him
~i am very curIous bout things happening around me
~happy go lucky person
~i am tht type of person where love will no bring me down
~if my love fail, i will gt rid of it very fast and move on
~i am also a stubborn person *will never learn frm the past love until my true love appear
~i hope tht there is someone who understand, trust, and appreciate me
~i am very loyal and easily believe ppl
~if i find out my partner on me, i will be VERY emotional
~i am too straight-forward, thus hurt many ppl around me
~wan to work even after marriage

Compatibility ^^,

Pisces (Feb 19- Mar 20)
when wit him, i always wan to take accompany him, and take care of him. He will give me the feeling to love. a good match fr me.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
quiet a matching couple but, some of the his attraction cant be sensed by me..LOL..have a lot of things in common.


Leo ( Jul 23 - Aug 22)
will be a person who leads by my own emotions, thus will not last long if i'm wit him...the relationship is like fire crackers, start and ends fast.


Virgo ( Aug 23 - Sep 22)
if i'm wit the guy, the guy will be qi shi by me hahahaXD will hurt the guy cause i am too straight forward d and he is a carefull guy. not a good match


Cancer ( Jun 22 - Jul 22)
will sure to share the same dream, and the guy will be fussy. Sometimes will also argue cause disagree in some factors. Not a matching couple also

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)
will be the most matching couple, because both also a very agressive person. others asspect all good only one..spends money like water.


Taurus ( Apr 20 - May 20)
chances of being together is very low. No jodoh..*weird..

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
he will be boring cause he like to act serious but he will pay attention to me...seems like a perfect couple but not frm the inside..migh scold him YOU LELAKI KOLOT~!! one day later..XD

Aquarius ( Jan 20 - Feb 18)
another matching couple. both of us will think tht we have other friends to concern, therefore either of us will not asked ou partner to choose between friends and their partner.


*some tht i have left out one.. I am sorry but cause mf like sien d wan to read fr me..hahahaXD LOL.. mst thanks her cause willing to read fr me..THANK U MAY FONG XD
I am
still finding

MatCh Of My LiFE..<<3


okie..now some craps tht have to do wit me..
hmm...recently nothing much happened tht interest me to talk bout...*beside myself which is interesting no matter how XD
miss my friends and kai di di-s, they are busy now cause having their exams and starting new sem..T.T wan to see them..knw wht they doing and laugh at them..*cough* i mean together wit them..haiz..

well now my own schedule also not very good..T.T *sobs
this month schedule totally full wit studies and next month will be totally alone..T.T

monday- math tuition, wednesday- math tuition, friday- math tuition somemore on saturday-chem tuitoin and sunday- physic tuition

waa..T.T.. *sobs really can die lo.. currently nothing much to talk.. will update if there is ^.^

okie la..Thx fr reading XP